Waistcoats.
whatever pointless object dillon brings with him.
zombies,mimes,pjs,wizard of oz,superheros.
cross dressing.
this is a banana.
UH!
breakfast club.
everything in sandwich form.
didgeridoo.
point n shoot.
queueing.
soothers n sore throats.
breaking bread.
fire drills.
the sea.
team awesome-o!!!?
for the cock.
tail.
trawling for mall ass.
floorgy.
dr. who cake.
the garden of love.
our bodies.
laura n greg.
curns birthday.
northerners first ever animal bar.
the bench-spitting,licking,fleming,groping,t
 ickling,stinking out of it,nd cunning tactics.
dickless freaks.

The French,
ventriloquists,
Elvis Presley
1975,
jazz,
The Magic Roundabout,
Bonn
Postman Pat,
Hello!,
Truly, Madly, Deeply,
the book A Parliamentary Affair by Edwina Currie
The "Dear Son" Nationwide Building Society advert,
1970s German softcore pornography
Margi Clarke,
the FA Cup
The Our Tune feature of Simon Bates' radio shows,
Snoopy,
Space Hoppers
Leggings,
television cop shows,
The Word
Casualty, long gloves, Eurodisney
Come Dancing,
faeces,
Songs of Praise
Unidentified tubes in meat,
William Shakespeare,
Action Man
Rodents especially rats
Australian television programmes,
Do It Yourself,
Richard and Judy,
children using the telephone
Tie a Yellow Ribbon 'Round the Ole Oak Tree,
mathematics teachers,
Sarah, Duchess of York,
Jilly Goolden
Vivienne Westwood,
dogs with disproportionately large genitals,
her post,
Michael Portillo's lips,
The Joanna Trollope television series
The Choir
BBC Radio 2,
the 1960s,
insurance companies,
car stickers,
cricket
The United States and The American people,
student backpackers,
public schoolboys,
Blue Peter
Caravans,
Last of the Summer Wine
The Bay City Rollers,
3-2-1 American football,
Germany
EastEnders,
Guests on Wogan
The sound of posh people talking,
Liverpool,
jacket and jeans combination
Sooty,
Mystic Meg,
clowns,
soap stars singing
"Puppet on a String",
dinner parties
doctors surgeries,
US fitness television channels,
Ferrero Rocher
Telephone chat-up lines,
baby talk,
films with subtitles,
mens public toilets
Being a teacher,
New Year's Eve,
people who don't know how to argue
People who dress up as football mascots,
weather forecasts,
Teletubbies,
celebrities doing jobs for which they are not qualified
Portsmouth,
Muzak,
Chris Evans,
Spike Milligans own house,
soap operas,
hunting,
parties
Shopping for Shoes,
Margaret Thatcher,
Plastic wrappers around videotapes and Compact Discs
The skin on rice pudding and custard,
Cockroaches,
youth hostelling,
Austria,
the song "Paper Roses" by Marie Osmond
Television cookery programmes,
leggings,
Gentlemen's clubs,
housework
Celebrity parties,
spitting,
the fact that dogs don't live long enough
Kissing on both cheeks,
mathematics,
Posh Tea,
Jeffrey Archer,
soppy love songs
Uninformed journalists,
cyclists
Bill Baileys own TV debut with a mind reading dog,
the revamped theme tune to The Bill,
the 1980s,
Chris de Burgh
Corporate fast food,
extended warranties,
cat lovers,
God Save the Queen
Ken Livingstone,
builders who make fun of her (Janet street porter) accent,
BBC Radio 1 DJs,
Stephen Bayley (who helped design the Millennium Dome) and other design gurus,
cockney culture
Wigs,
lawyers, smoking bans,
Section 28,
cooked apples,
golf
Bed and Breakfast,
the Crown jewels,
cheese footballs
The royal family going abroad,
dogs' lips,
'plucky underdog' films
Synchronised swimming,
DIY makeover shows like Changing Rooms
Pointless science,
Disney,
short people,
pretentious food,
modern country music
Silent letters,
pet accessories,
Alan Ball,
gifts from elderly relatives
Boy bands,
reverence to the Royal Family
Mini-cab drivers who honk to let you know they've arrived,
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus,
litter,
Slugs,
snot
Pedal-bin hair,
Liz Hurley,
thongs,
realistic toys
Instruction manuals,
France,
golf,
eating in cinemas,
politicians,
rap
Tonsils,
student drama,
protest raps,
nautical fashion,
PE teachers
Children's television presenters,
Big Mouth Billy Bass,
Ben Elton,
media training,
24-hour television news channels
Late-night review shows,
New Age,
Australian Questioning Intonation,
Room 101
People who force holiday reps and entertainers (like at Butlin's) with no talent to entertain,
Internet chat

The Original.......

>>People thought Pele was great because he played for Brazil in the World Cup when he was seventeen. When Larry was seventeen he was playing with Knockbride minors, Knockbride junior B’s, the odd senior game, St. Brigids u21’s, Bailieborough schools u18’s, the Cavan Vocational schools team, AND the Cavan Minors.

>>Maradona may have used the hand of God to beat England, but only Larry could get away with hoping the ball twice and scoring the equalising point in an Ulster final.

>>Pele and Maradona would run the length of the field, go around every opposition player including the goalkeeper and tap it into the empty net, Larry just runs to the corner and scores from there.

>>Pele needed to advertise viagra to turn people on. Larry Reilly just has to play football.

>>Because there’s only one great team play in blue and white, and it’s not Argentina.

>>In Brazil there’s a special edition toilet paper called ‘Pele’. There was going to be a toilet paper called ‘Larry’, but Larry Reilly doesn’t take crap from anyone.

>>Pele and Maradona had some of the world’s greatest ever players playing alongside them. Who had Larry?

>>I’ve never seen Pele bust through two Aussie Rules players and come out with the ball.

>>If Larry was a bullock, you’d say, ” he’s winthered well!”

>>Pele and Maadona played in some of the biggest and finest stadiums in the world, but you’d never see them scoring 1-8 against Killagarry of a winters evenin’.

>>Larry Reilly defies physics, no man weighing fifteen stone could be that fast.

>>There’d be no point in ringing Maradona if you had a pipe leaking .

>>Larry Reilly says shin gaurds are for babies.

>>Pele and Maradona may have come up against defenders from every corner of the world but did they ever skin Francie Bellew?...Larry sure did.

>>You always hear players being branded ‘the new Maradona’, or ‘the new Pele’. You’ll never hear anyone being called ‘the new Larry’. You know why?...Because there’ll only ever be one Larry Reilly.