Me: Firstly, tell us all who you are.
sara88xxOMG: mi nam iz sara88xxOMG
Me: No, your real name please.
sara88xxOMG: wat
Me: As in, the name that you were given at birth.
sara88xxOMG: lol wt do u mean
Me: Well I doubt that your parents name you sara88xxOMG
sara88xxOMG: ii dunt lyk mi parents dey dnt let mi bebo all d time
Me: Ok, lets just move onto the next question. What do you like to do in your spare time?
sara88xxOMG: em i lyk doin oders polls an quizzes n stuff n i lyk lukin at odr peoples bebos n sumtimes i even comment dem
Me: Do you have any other hobbies that don't revolve around Bebo
sara88xxOMG: sorri cud you say dat again i was just chekin too see if i has ne comments i got bebo mobile n now i can beebo all day lololol
Me: Ok
sara88xxOMG: wat were you askn me
Me: Nevermind. What do you want to be when you grow up?
sara88xxOMG: i dunno mayb a surgeon
Me: Do you not think that maybe you should study a little harder?
sara88xxOMG: no y i h8 school
Me: But how are you going to become a surgeon then?
sara88xxOMG: wel i did a bebo quiz cald "are you a surgeon" n i got 79% in it
Me: What???
sara88xxOMG: seriously i got 85% in it
Me: But you told me before that you got 79%?
sara88xxOMG: no i didnt shut up
Me: Ok. Whatever. How does a Bebo quiz have hold any validity?
sara88xxOMG: wat
Me: I mean, how does getting 79% in a Bebo quiz mean you're going to be a surgeon?
sara88xxOMG: but i got 85%
Me: Oh Jesus fucking Christ. Ok, how does getting 85% in a Bebo quiz mean that you're going to be a surgeon?
sara88xxOMG: cuz its a quiz
Me: And who do you think made that quiz? Do you think that the person who made it was a surgeon?
sara88xxOMG: yea probablee.
Me: How many questions did this quiz have?
sara88xxOMG: eight
Me: EIGHT QUESTIONS?
sara88xxOMG: yea i know it woz alot but ii used google
Me: ONLY EIGHT QUESTIONS? AND YOU USED GOOGLE? YET YOU COULD ONLY GET 79%?
sara88xxOMG: it was 85%
Me: Shut the fuck up.
sara88xxOMG: no u
Me: No you!
sara88xxOMG: no u
Me: No you!
sara88xxOMG: no u
Me: No you!
sara88xxOMG: NO U
Me: Ok, this isn't going anywhere.
sara88xxOMG: do you have a computr here
Me: Why?
sara88xxOMG: wanna check mii bebo
Me: No, sorry. I don't.
sara88xxOMG: WHAT? how do you go on bebo?
Me: Maybe I don't have a Bebo account?
sara88xxOMG: sori i heard your words bt dint undertsand
Me: I said that maybe I don't have a Bebo account.
sara88xxOMG: come again?
Me: Ok. Lets move on.
sara88xxOMG: will you do my quizzes wen this is done
Me: But I just said that I might not have a Bebo account?
sara88xxOMG: wat
Me: Please leave.
sara88xxOMG: no u
Me: Get the fuck out.
sara88xxOMG: no u
Me: No you!
sara88xxOMG: no u
Me: NO YOU!
sara88xxOMG: nooo u!
Me: NO YOOOOOU!
sara88xxOMG: angry face
Me: Did you just say angry face?
sara88xxOMG: yea laughing face
Me: What? Are you for real? Are you actually saying stuff like angry face and laughing face?
sara88xxOMG: yea
Me: Leave.
sara88xxOMG: sad face

Have a problem? Need it solved by someone who is more awesome than you? Post it here and get my opinion.

Look. Your normal life is not interesting enough for other people to read about. You may think that tommy89 wants to read all about how you got in trouble in school the other day, but the truth is.. no.. just no. Learn from my example and feed him shit:

20 August:

Today I shot a dog for looking at me the wrong way. I laughed. The owner cried. And the world continued to turn as I made my way down towards the center of town listening to Rock The Kasbah on my MP3 player. After getting into the center of town I figured that it would be a pretty good idea to sit around and throw stones at old people who were obviously too old to dodge them. After realizing that I was being ageist, I congratulated myself on how much I rock and came to the conclusion that I am the master of the universe and that anyone who says anything that contradicts that is a filthy communist swine who should stick to college protests and the setting up of Trade Unions. After that I urinated in my pants a little and laughed about it.

Tonight I was on Bebo. It was awesome. Some guy commented my page and I was like "thats so cool" n shit. I then got mad when Bebo started asking me to fill in that stupid anti-spam captcha message; so I copied and pasted the word shit into a contact message a thousand times and sent it to them. Man they're going to get such a shock when they realise that somebody just pwned their asses with a thousand shits. Anyway, must go now dear diary; my dog wont stop barking outside and I want to test out the new shovel I bought yesterday.

August 21

My mother asked me where the dog was and why the soil outside looked disturbed.

August 22

I spent the morning trying to throw rocks off my local bridge onto the fishing boats below. I hit some guy on the head and he started acting all retarded and shit. He then lay down and went to sleep. I was really pissed because it was like he was saying "Hey man you just hit me on the head with a rock but it was a pussy throw. So big a pussy throw that I think I'm just going to lie on my stomach for a bit and let you see nothing but my fat ass." After hitting this sleeping wanker with rocks for a half an hour I walked away unhappy about the fact that even the biggest rock in my arsenal couldn't make him flinch. I saw him later swimming down the shore. He was showing off the fact that he could float without moving. That really pissed me off because I can't even swim if I move my arms and legs. I just go under, wait until I hit the sea floor and start walking.